Spirituality as The Cure to Feeling Lost

Spirituality as the cure to feeling lost – how do you recognise signs, how I got into spirituality, and what are its benefits

What is spirituality?

Spirituality is different for every individual. While it differs from religion, its benefits seem to be very similar to the ones religion brings about. Spirituality has been shown to promote positive feelings and peace of mind. Presumably, this is because of the liberating and comforting feelings that are a by-product of believing in a higher power. To most people, this higher power has their back, supports them, and guides them in all circumstances.

Have you ever heard of the sentence “everything happens for you, not to you”? Well, this is a clear example of a sentence highlighting the idea of a higher power being in control of your life. It’s almost a depiction of believing in fate or destiny; things happening as and when they are supposed to happen for a reason. Sometimes we don’t see the reason in the moment, but we understand why things had to happen the way they did later on.

Spirituality and signs

“Ask and you shall be given”. This is what comes to mind when I think about spirituality and looking for answers. Every spiritual person I know, especially in difficult times, asks the universe to show them a sign, a clear path forward. If you would ask me how to recognize a sign – or how to know that a sign is actually the universe speaking to you – I don’t have an answer. However, one thing I can say is that signs can come in different forms. In addition, they often show up randomly, when you least expect them, or when you’ve lost all hope and think there is no way out.

At the same time, I can tell you that the more specific the sign you ask for is, the better (e.g. saying “please universe show me a red butterfly if this is the decision I should make right now”). After you asked the universe for a sign, go on with your life and surrender. In other words, don’t try to look for the sign you asked for everywhere you go. Our brains will try to look for evidence all around once we make it clear what it is that we want. Nevertheless, this will feel more like forcing something to show up in your life rather than letting it happen or come naturally to you.

Things just happen

If there is one thing I will share with you about my own experience with spirituality is that I was very skeptical about it. However, I found solace and support in it once I started seeing patterns and realized things happen for a reason. Usually, they also happen at the right time. There are many instances in my life where I look back and think to myself: “Gosh, this thing didn’t make sense back then, but it makes complete sense now.”

You can think about that for yourself. Think about your past relationships, friendships, opportunities, jobs, studies, traveling experiences, life experiences… anything that really left you confused and lost back when it happened but which turned you into the person you are today.

Maybe that relationship was supposed to end for you to find the love of your life. That friend was meant to leave you for you to understand what true friendship meant. And that move, that job change? Maybe they all happened to redirect you to something better, something more meaningful. Maybe they happened to show you that wherever you are, you have yourself with you, day and night. That you can count on you, always. Only you know what you have been through, and only you have the answers you are looking for!

This is something that is central in coaching as well; the idea that your client has all the answers within. It is important to recognize this as a coach because it gives the power back to the client. This increases the client’s empowerment, self-awareness, self-efficacy, and readiness to take action.

Spirituality and control

Let’s not forget the topic of today’s post however, which is spirituality. The whole point of spirituality – or of having a spiritual practice – is to not think we have full control over our lives. Yes, you heard that right.

As much as we (and our brains) like to think that we create our own lives and are in full control, well… that’s not really the case. Yes, it is helpful to plan life ahead, but we also have to remember that life is unpredictable sometimes. We never have full control of a situation, not even of our own lives. Remember to take your hands off the wheel and trust. Trust a higher power and trust yourself. This will take some pressure off your shoulders.

The same way we trust the pilot of an airplane as we realize we have no control over the flight, trust that a higher power is also guiding you in the right direction. Really, take your hands off the wheel! The universe never puts you in front of a situation you can’t handle. So, be open to new learning experiences and always be a student of life. Easier said than done, but it works!

My own experience with “spirituality”, and coaching

Feeling lost before starting my coaching practice, I was trying so badly to control. I was often frustrated and obsessed over what my future would look like. I just wanted to have a plan, a degree of certainty. Then I decided to surrender a little bit and see what would happen. I decided to live in the present, not the past nor the future. I like to believe that this is the mindset that brought me into coaching. I was looking for masters in sports and positive psychology when I saw a different (but related) career path… that of life coaching.

Looking back I would lie if I said I was 100% sure of my decision to enroll at ICA and pursue a coaching career. But there I was, trusting again. I told myself that I would take this opportunity because “things happen for a reason”. I jumped into the unknown, leaving everything I knew behind. This included my studies, the place I used to live in, parts of myself, and my expectations. It was a big, scary jump for me to do, but I would do it again if I had to.

Therefore, in times of uncertainty even to this day, I remind myself of previous uncertain times. Then I tell myself that everything will make sense, and that everything is going to work out.

There is a timing to everything

I believe that things happen at the right time. There are a couple of instances where I realized things happened at just the right time for me. And looking back I can honestly say I am so grateful they did. Two recent ones are my internship in Barcelona and my relationship with a friend.

With regards to my internship, I now know that the experience was just what I needed. It taught me so many things about business, marketing, and writing blog posts – which I love. It came just at the right time because I was thinking about starting my own coaching practice and my own blog. So everything I learned there, although I couldn’t see the point of doing most tasks initially, revealed itself to be very beneficial. Everything helped me refine my skills in writing, taught me how to start blogging, and showed me what working on a website looked like.

Similarly, one of my recent friendships started at the right time. I was in a period of my life where I was (and still am) open to new experiences and opportunities. That friendship taught me profound lessons since the beginning. Not just about my present self, but also about my past and my future self.

I would say that the friendship started at the right time because I don’t think I would have allowed a similar friendship to start in previous years. I was a different person then, with different goals and priorities. In addition, had this happened before, I wouldn’t have learned the things I ended up learning right when it happened.

A message to conclude

They say people are a reflection of ourselves and our experiences and, sometimes, people are angels in disguise. Some people we meet at the right time because they are there to teach us or help us unlearn some things. They are there to make us aware of certain patterns and certain shadows. They can act as mirrors, so that we can see the reflection of ourselves in them.

If you want to learn more about mirroring, I encourage you to check out my blog article: What You See in Others Is a Reflection of Yourself.

Some people come into our lives to push us out of our comfort zones. Other times they are there to show us what we want and don’t want; what we can and cannot tolerate; what we are missing in our lives and what we already have. In any case, the secret is to be grateful for every encounter, however long or brief. For a person might leave you but the lessons they teach you will not.